This is something I wrote on a board some of my friends from high school and I frequent. The guys asked me about what it means to protect the hearts of their girlfriends, so I gave them my thoughts. It's sparking some good thinking, so I thought I would share here too.
Protecting a girls emotions is being ready to take the responsibility for every emotion you ask for from her. This means, you do not bring up marriage in a context of "us" unless you are ready for the consequences of the emotions that you will subsequently unleash. Telling a girl you love her is like removing a pin from a grenade, and baby, you better be ready for the shrapnel. There is no way as a human that you can COMPLETLY protect the women you pursue since so many emotions and expectations are conveyed non-verbally, but by creating boundaries and KEEPING them you have a better chance. That is the main difference between "typical" dating and "courting", the expectation and seriousness. In a courting situation the girls heart is in the forefront of the young man's mind, meaning he is interested in protecting it for her future husband, be it him or someone else. This does not just mean that he protects her from giving to much of her self away, but also from the ensuing disillusionment and “man hating” so common with girls who have given to much of themselves away and been crushed. When men don’t follow through with what they say they are going to do it lessons the respect a women has for him, which is tres bad bad bad. The goal in this is not to be naive, but ultimately to achieve true intimacy once married. Hope that clears it up at least a bit. I can elaborate more if you want.
Posted by Deke at February 22, 2004 11:18 PMWow, that's good insight Nat. Thanks.
Posted by: tabitha at February 23, 2004 09:40 AMI don't see why any of this advice should be gender-specific, unless you believe that women are inherently less capable of controlling their emotional attachments.
Posted by: mesh at February 23, 2004 11:28 AMIt's gender specific because my male friends asked it about their girlfriends.
Posted by: Nats at February 23, 2004 02:14 PMAhh courtship, the complete protection strategy. I have yet to see it do what it says it will.
Posted by: jeep at February 23, 2004 03:24 PMI guess it just boils down to saying the things you mean, and meaning everything that you say. And that isn't gender-specific, it goes just as much for women as men. This is common sense, or at least it should be: don't do anything you can't/won't take responsibility for.
Posted by: ryan at February 23, 2004 05:37 PMRyan- exactly. Love it when you boil.
Posted by: Natalie at February 24, 2004 02:27 AM