Today was odd. I was so tired and I went to work this afternoon and wished my brain would shut down because finally I had time to think and process all the things
floating there,
and it seemed that they were just floating there. One of those moments when you need to get away from yourself. In a way it was good to take a moment, look at myself and realize, yes, I do get depressed.
I talked to a friend earlier in the week about some of the things that have been happening to me and that I am working so hard on acknowledging that they are big deals. No matter how private or seemingly irrelivent to the scope of the pain in the world at large, this is my pain. I think I have a hard time claiming that, especially because I am in such a good place. I feel like I am not allowed to be claim my own emotions if they are negative since I am exactly were God wants me to be. Job was exactly were God wanted him to be... that sucked. So I am working through that... the sucking in the midst of glory. I am so confused and so okay with that, just don't try and get me to define it.
Posted by Deke at October 9, 2004 02:51 AMThat's pretty much how I felt at graduation. But I didn't know how to say it in my speech. Things at Covenant sucked (especially senior year), but they were still so good for me. That's why AD and I decided we could never work for admissions. We would spend way too much time crying or telling people how it was negative.
Sucking in the midst of glory – yeah. There are LOTS of great things about college, specifically Covenant. There are always lots of great things about the situations into which God leads us, but they're often hard.
I'm glad you're okay with it.
Posted by: bob at October 12, 2004 09:31 AMPost something! I need to hear that you're alive! :)
Posted by: bob at October 22, 2004 09:28 AMBlog natalie Blog!
Posted by: katzman at November 14, 2004 11:17 AM