epic haiku

italian soda and razor edges

Tonight I ended up at my favorite coffee shop with my parents after an odd string of events mostly involving them trying to get me out of the house... or get me to start talking or stop crying or just move. I think I was actually depressed today. Not sad, but just pissed off at how I can't do anything that would help me feel like I was accomplishing ANYTHING. My job right now is to be sick, and earlier I was displeased with my job.

So anyway, we are at the coffee shop and I nod over at this one corner table and tell them how that was were I was sitting when I stuck my tongue in my ex's ear... in a failed attempt to get him to break concentration during a staring contest. Did not work. That's probably the funniest memory. I have so many there, and it was really nice to be there in it's amazing atmosphere (despite being in Midland). I can't go there by myself though, because I might run into someone I hate. I just don't have the energy to mask my true feelings at this point about anything.

It was really good though to just sit and talk with my parents about all that's been on my mind lately. This time off has been good for me to really think about what I am doing with my life and what I want. I am on the right course, but sometimes I feel like I am walking on a razors edge between extremes of totally off course... or am close to making a wrong decision. Prayer is paramount.

In other news, I love cell phones and free weekend minutes. Got to have some good talk time. Earl, though, will not be able to go with me to Europe after all. This is really sad, but more for her since I still get to go to Europe and she's going to get hundreds of postcards from me, which, while cool, is not the same. We are both flying out to visit the Boston 5N chapter of existence in March though, so that will be fun.... in the most extreme sense of the word. I am so glad I have friends who are not afraid of me when I am pissed off.