Just a quicky to prove I am not dead. I am coming out of the whirl wind of this week. I just came back up the mountain with a friend and I looked at her and said: "Is it really Friday?" and in fact it is. This, of course, means it's time to watch some movies!!! And maybe do some homework, but you know. ^_^ Have a goodweekend all!
I hate this part. Getting used to something enough to be comfortable again and feeling torn between the good of going back and the good of staying. I just about go crazy when I am home trying to keep my head together, and going back to school is never the same as it was the semester before. This seems to be the age of nothing constant.
My mom had me take the MMPI yesterday. (My parents own a counseling practice, in case you didn’t know.) It’s a test to figure out what sort of psychological issues you may have. Mom is always wanting me to do stuff like this. It’s good on one level because it keeps me in touch with how I need to grow, and it’s also bad because I tend to over think things. I said several times last semester how I realized that while my parents are very concerned about my obsessive and over analytical tendencies, they themselves obsess and over analyze my tendencies. I have a hard time balancing the opinions of what people assume I am with who I actually am. I seem like such a “go getter” or whatever when I am with people, and yet I am very introverted in my own way. I really got a hold of that last semester thanks to my roommate. We were having a conversation about things we wouldn’t have known about each other if we didn’t room together and she said she would never had even thought I was as introverted as I am. This helps me understand why I recoil from contact with people when I am home. People here have given me such a hard time about what a people person I am and force me to be this rabble rouser or something, and that’s just not me. I am a people person, but not in a crazy “hey everybody, let’s party!” sort of way. I care about people and I want to be with them, most of the time. I can’t deal with falseness though, so when I feel like I am getting fed a load of shit from someone I need time by myself to hurl it all back up. I think basically growing up isn’t done and I need my mom… to be in another state, even though I miss her lots, and I need my teddy bear- Norman.
Today I look a little less like the spawn of a Neanderthal that had a relationship of a sexual nature with a gorilla, this comforting since I have to go get my license renewed; a license that will have a relationship with my wallet for the next four years or so. My friend Joy is here from Philly. She was my neighbor before she grew up and moved away from her family. We have had a relationship since I moved here when I was nine. I am going to be one of her brides maids in a ceremony what will be the start of the “ultimate” relationship of her life next June. I slept very well last night. I would have to say that my relationship with my bed at school is better then my relationship with my bed here, but last night the relationships seemed to shake hands and agree to do what’s best for my sleep. I also seem to have a bit of a better relationship with Vicodin lately, and food. Talked with Linnea last night for, hrm, maybe two hours? I love that girl and am so glad I can say that *struggles for breath as Linnea miraculously appears and strangles her to death all the while screaming “WALLA WALLA WALLA!!!!”*
Happy New Year! I fell asleep at like 8:30pm, whoo hoo! Party animal. I did have a dream were the Philosophy department was going on some random trip somewhere and Dr. Davis was freaking about something and than we were in the Caribbean and Fidati was a pirate (a very nice and damn sexy pirate mind you) and J.R.R. Tolkien= Walt Disney= George Harrison (who was the lead singer of Led Zeppelin) = Jimmy Stewart ... I don't know. Now I am watching Dancer in the Dark with Bjork, so I feel like I am still sleeping.
I was pretty much in my bed all day yesterday. I watched The Crying Game on my laptop whilst IMing with Katzman. I think that our conversation serves very well as a review of that film, so here it is (screen names changed to protect the innocent):
Nats (3:23:01 PM): the girl in this movie was played by a guy
Nats (3:23:05 PM): weird
Nats (3:23:08 PM): weird weird
Katzman (3:23:09 PM): very
…
Nats (3:29:36 PM): this he/she women just threw this guys clothes from her window
Nats (3:29:39 PM): AND his goldfish
Katzman (3:29:52 PM): his goldfish???
Katzman (3:29:57 PM): that’s just mean
Nats (3:29:58 PM): yeah
Nats (3:30:02 PM): he called her a murderer
Nats (3:30:10 PM): but he called her some really meaner things first
Nats (3:30:29 PM): so I think it's justifiable
Nats (3:30:35 PM): but I feel pretty bad for the goldfish
Katzman (3:31:01 PM): yah, that was uncalled for
Katzman (3:31:06 PM): goldfish have feelings too
Nats (3:31:10 PM): totally
…
Nats (3:38:31 PM): oh boy
Nats (3:38:34 PM): she's a man!
Nats (3:38:45 PM): she has a penis
Nats (3:38:52 PM): and he is throwing up
Nats (3:38:54 PM): *laughs*
Nats (3:39:03 PM): I thought she was just supposed to be a women in this
Nats (3:39:07 PM): this is weird Katzman
Nats (3:39:12 PM): I can see the face you are making now
Nats (3:39:14 PM): I can see it
Nats (3:39:16 PM): I swear
Katzman (3:39:34 PM): what face am i making?
Katzman (3:39:52 PM): i'm curious
Nats (3:39:57 PM): the "did she really just say that?" face you make after i say things like that
Nats (3:40:22 PM): I will point it out to you sometime
Katzman (3:40:26 PM): actually i kinda just chuckled
Nats (3:40:37 PM): okay
Nats (3:40:38 PM): good
Nats (3:40:43 PM): poor guy
Nats (3:40:55 PM): he is under obligation from an old friend to look after her/him
Katzman (3:40:59 PM): as i whistled along with my new cd, have you ever tried to laugh and whistle at the same time?
Nats (3:41:05 PM): no
Katzman (3:41:07 PM): it doesn't work so well
Nats (3:41:07 PM): wow
Nats (3:41:12 PM): i bet
Nats (3:41:34 PM): how do I end up with such weird movies?
Nats (3:41:35 PM): I mean
Nats (3:41:36 PM): really
Katzman (3:41:56 PM): i'm not sure
Nats (3:42:08 PM): so