Found a really good article on introversion here. I would love some thoughts.
Not a happy last couple of days. I have felt pretty horrible. Not really able to do much, but I think I am doing a little better at the moment. My mind is constantly going and there are so many things I want to do, but I can't muster any of it. My parents managed to get me out of the house a bit tonight. I also made them watch fight club for the first time. The kept looking at me at various moments throughout the film like I'm crazy... which I guess I am. I don't think it's weird that I am a girl and I own Fight Club, I mean, Linnea owns fight club! Wait...
It's funny that the things I am spending time thinking about now are so similar to the things I was thinking about the year before I left for college: Tori Amos and Personality Theory. It's strangly affirming to have time for these pet obsessions again.
I came up with an introduction to Tori Amos for those of you who scratch your heads at my devotion.
Here are links to VH1's Behind the Music 2 from a few years back, watch parts 1, 2 and 3 for a look at her life (I love this because you get to hear her husband talk a little about her, which is rare since he is so private).
You can read a time line of her life here.
If you've gotten this far and are still intrigued watch a few performances (there is nothing ::nothing:: like Tori in concert):
Today my family and I drove an hour to go see The New World, which I was excited about seeing, but nervous due to mixed reviews and a close, but not completely fresh rating. All the critics I usually defer to liked it, so I was hopeful. It was perfect. Terrence Malick won my heart in 1998 with his amazing film The Thin Red Line, and this one only encouraged my ardor. This is my favorite film of this Oscar year since Cinderella Man.
It's not a fast paced film, it's literature on screen. It absorbs you in it's story, and what a story. New comer Q'Orianka Kilcher's eyes light up the screen in a way the reminds me of what Peter Jackson was trying to do with King Kong's Naomi Watts effort to communicate with Kong, but succeeds in a way Watts was not completely able to dominate. The language barriers in both these movies makes eye contact and body language imperative and while I loved King Kong, I knew there was something slightly off and it didn't quite hit me until this afternoon (and it probably had to do with blue screen). While Kilcher is an amazing actress, able communicate subtlety in a way even seasoned actors sometimes fail in, the editing style of the film also contributed to the emotions presented. My mother remarked that it made you feel like you were there. I fully agree. The slowness gives you time to think about what you are seeing and feel with the characters.
Also of note: this movies features, in my humble opinion, two of the hottest actors on film today, Colin Ferrell (such earnest eyes for such a dirty boy) and Christian Bale (from the boy next door to Batman).
The New World is actually a romance. Many films have tried to capture the epic feelings of love, but this one really made me believe. It is truthful in it's results, naive in it's sensuality and beautiful in it's imaging. I remember what it was like to be in love at 15, waiting and waiting and waiting for the right time until waiting becomes what life is. We mature into something more, hopefully someone better able to love in truth, but that initial ache echoes forever. Love belongs to the heart, and those emotions of such tender intensity are no ones business but the heart.
On a less serious note, my father will not watch Napoleon Dynamite because he thinks it's embarrassing. I don't really know what that means.
I've steeped myself again in personality theory, since it's one of my favorite pet topics. Ran across this in a relationship debate on a forum I frequent: "I view relationships as a penis means to a vagina."
You know, how close is that to truth? I think it hits on one of the main reasons I've only ever had one "actual" relationship. I am so afraid of using people and of being used.
I took an Enneagram test. It's a different theory then Myers-Brigg or Keirsey, of the basic 16 Personality types I am so enamored with. I am a two with a bit of four. I don't know what that fully means yet. Has any one else come across this?
I am fascinated by type function and how it may help indicate the how's and why's of why we do things. As far as MBTI is concerned, I am definitely an INFP, but as far as Oldham and Socionics personality theory the J and P reverse in introverts which would make me an INFj (and INFJ's INFp's). I am still trying to figure out the nuances of this. Any thoughts would be great.
Part the reasoning behind my interest in this is trying to define, at least for myself, the subconscious. I really enjoy reading Jung's theories and will be incorporating them into my SIP. I am still not willing to go into what I am trying to define, but if you know me and want my proposal, I would be happy to share.
So, since I am going to be home this semester I decided I should try to rebuild this and maintain it. I was suduced almost a year ago now by the ease of xanga... and by the manipulation of one Justin Stephens and one Stephanie M. White. It's just easy to xanga and you get all you subscriptions sent to you, etc. But I never actually wanted to leave covblogs forever, so I have returned. I am probably going to model my blogging after Linnea, since I am in love with her etc. and all she does is perfection. I say all this because it's true and also because she is going to have to help me rebuild this site. Goodness, it's a mess and needs some airing out!
I am fine though. Being at home was a mental adjustment. I realized pretty last minute that it would be stupid to go back to school in my health state (been having stomach type issues since August, probably non-paptic dispensia, or Satan coming to live in my stomach lining). It took me awhile to come to terms with this this since I had Lymes disease in highschool and the idea of having to "heal" again scared the shit out of me. I think I have grown up enough though to take care of myself.
Confused? To read more on my going on of late, start here and then go here.