epic haiku

NYC experiance...

I felt heard, someplace in my head, when I wasn't even speaking.

I know I can raise my voice and speak articulately if I need to.

I know I can be still and watch the world go by and not worry about impacting the ripple.

Shackles off my back.

The silent dissonance of the subway has always been in my brain.

I don't have to defend what I care about because no one else's opinion is ever going to change that.

I felt like it was okay to be behind
I can always see what's going on ahead.

I am more comfortable being assertive and not letting myself be put in awkward situations just because of the potential of making other people feel more comfortable.

I still feel frustrated with life and how much I want to make it work well and sucking marrow and all that, but I am satisfied with last months attempt.

I learned not everyone is weird about talking about pain. Sometimes it is embracd and refreshing.

Still reaching out to someday maintain that fierce calm, although I love my poker face. Life really is a big ole' poker game.

quote from Katz

"New York had better still be standing when you get back, because I haven't seen it yet." -David Katzman

mental piss stream (or, rock and roll and my liver again)

I just heard The Go! Team for the first time on Late Night Craig Ferguson... two drum kits, what is to be done with that? They blew me away! See them perform the song I heard, The Power is On, here. Very like, um, 70's with that touch of the Jackson Five meets the Fugee's meets Sesame Street meets, um, oh, I don't know the Smashing Pumpkins. Very nice.

I also saw, and actually like more, the most excellent WolfMother (listen to some of there music on their site... oh my, just good rock and roll makes me weak in the knees) on my love, Conan O'Brian (who by the way, is going to be in Chicago next week when I could go see him with Linney-Bob... but maybe we could go see Dave even though she is a Leno girl... I am all about the Letterman). Oh, and Pearl Jam was on Letterman... so it was a good evening as far as late night rock and roll goes.

Oh, pictures of WolfMother


um, and because I can, here is one of Eddie Vedder.

careful ladies... he has a wife and children.

I guess I just feel like a maneater tonight.(If you don't pick up on the rip on PJ at the end of that song you are really really really in need of some PJ culture people... and I mean PJ Harvey... and don't say "What song?" click the fcking link.)

*whispers in ear*
(Maneater, make you work hard

Make you spend hard

Make you want all, of her love

She's a maneater

make you buy cars

make you cut cords

make you fall, fall in love

Maneater, make you work hard

Make you spend hard

Make you want all, all of her love

She's a maneater

make you buy cars

make you cut cords

Wish you never ever met her at all)

Right Linnea? This is why we should never get married. So men will buy us cars.

It's funny how I am a mix between the above song and this one. And yes, I do really like Nelly Furtado.

Okay, so now I feel like since I have dropped all these rock and roll
shout outs to people I don't even know I need to um, yeah, Bill.
Bill. This is for you. Sorry I don't have a
picture of you with your shirt off where you are not poll dancing... ^_~



So, on to actual things occuring in my life. I was at the doctor today. I have been on the fence for awhile about going to Europe and am sure now that I am not going to do it this summer. I am hoping for next summer though. I pretty much have my course laid out for Italy, so picking up where I left off wont be hard. The thing is though, my cholesterol keeps rising and my liver is still not in good shape. My dad's reaction to this: "But you don't eat anything!" Yeah. What are ya gonna do? So, when I get back from NYC, we will see what is to be done about that.

It makes me angry. It makes me really angry. Thank God for music.

I am also feeling pretty blocked up emotionally about not being at graduation this weekend with my class, or to see my friends who came into town (Chattanooga) for graduation who I haven't seen in awhile, or to be at my housemates wedding shower. Head game, got to get my head game on.

I am in my anticapatory anxiety stage about May Term (which is going to rock). This, obviously, means I am watching Say Anything over and over and over and over. Optimism as a revolutionary act. Dig?

Lloyd is better than comfort food.